Childlight Conference 2008- Jason Fletcher: The Relational Paradigm of Christianity

I really must get this out before it is lost to me. At the recent Childlight Conference, I really enjoyed a plenary in which Jason Fletcher spoke on The Relational Paradigm of Christianity.
His talk really spoke to the need for us to realize that Relationships are at the center of everything of God: the trinity, his creation and so on. The following are from my notes of his talk.

The rise of social isolation has many roots issues. Some of these issues are: Poor condition of relationships, two income families, longer commutes and television.

We need a relational paradigm!

In the UK he says, they are worried more about people consuming the right things than doing the right things. People are more worried about relative wealth than total wealth (how wealthy they look, not how wealthy they are).

We need to redefine our goals for relationships. Christianity alone is capable. It's world view is relational through and through. God is relational (1 John-WITH GOD-plurality of relations). God never existed in isolation, you can only understand one member of the triune God in relation to the other two. Relating to others means no isolation. It is through others we become persons. If there is no sharing, there is no reality. All persons have relational needs: To be heard, to be wanted. True person hood is realized when we are others centered. In the Godhead we see perfect giving and receiving. The suffering in the absence of this unity is heard in Jesus' separation from God the Father during the Crucifixion "Why have you forsaken me?".

We find fulfillment in God.

It was "not good for Adam to be alone". But when Adam and Eve fell, dependence gave way to independence. Sin is a failure of relationship: To love God and love others. This is the subject of C S Lewis' The Great Divorce. But, still, one day we will see Him FACE TO FACE.

(me: I heard a pastor say recently, "Sin is what we do when are not fully satisfied in God".)

Christian Ethics: The Practical Application

It is about learning to give and receive.

Isaiah 6:6 God says, "I desire mercy more than sacrifice".

Matthew 23:23 Jesus says, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Matthew 22:36-40 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

God wants us to cultivate STRONG relationships.

How should we think about relationships? Their are two key aspects: Relational values and relational conditions.

Relational values (are all aspects of love)

Loyalty (mercy, steadfast love) mentioned in the Word 242 times. Loyalty spurs on His relationship with Israel.

Righteousness, which is all about fulfilling demands of relationships with others. A righteous leader will provide justice. Each relationship is unique.

Justice is fixing wrongs.

Faithfulness, which again can be seen in His relationship with Israel.

Truthfulness, in our relationships

Mercy/Compassion: Zechariah speaks of "the tender mercy of our God"

Forgiveness: Jesus said we will be forgive as we forgive others. He used the illustration of the unforgiving servant.

Generosity- He is not just loyal, He is generous. Israel was to be generous as well.

Relational Conditions

Directness: (face to face) leads to greatest outcome a relationship. This is not to be confused with non-verbal email/text messaging, which is task oriented, not relational. How do we deal with interruptions? Jesus, when sought to help Jarius' daughter, dropped everything and went. We undervalue children and others by failing to give our full attention. With out face to face relationships, our success is limited.

Continuity: (Time) With out time, the depth to our relationships is limited. Our method of juggling time and lack of quantity of time with our children is at the expense of our relationship with them.

Multiplexity: The breadth of our knowledge about the other person. AVOID ONE DIMENSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS!

Parroting: Relationships must be two-way. There must be mutual respect. We must listen to the opinion of others before offering our decisions.

Commonality: A shared vision! A mom who took up gold just to be with dad.

Charlotte Mason on relationships

She believed children were born persons. Large classes would underplay relationship.