Home from Childlight USA Conference

I am home from the Childlight USA Conference. I have soooo much to blog about. My mind is whirling around with plans for high school next year, and a more liberal array of subjects for the younger ones next year!

The work Charlotte Mason did has been such a blessing in so many lives. I am thankful every day for what I have learned so far. Using CM is stretching me and mold me into a better mom and teacher!

A Sense of Place

I have spoken often of Amber's talk from the 2007 Childlight Conference. She spoke on A Sense of Place. Her words have come back to me many times....in essence, be where you are...fully be there!!! If God has placed us there, and of course he has, then we should be involved and "know" that place. Well, Tammy Glaser can explain anything, so since it has been awhile for me, I'll share a link to her blog where she narrates Amber's talk....enjoy....

http://aut2bhomeincarolina.blogspot.com/2007/06/sense-of-place.html

Childlight Conference 2008- Jason Fletcher: The Relational Paradigm of Christianity

I really must get this out before it is lost to me. At the recent Childlight Conference, I really enjoyed a plenary in which Jason Fletcher spoke on The Relational Paradigm of Christianity.
His talk really spoke to the need for us to realize that Relationships are at the center of everything of God: the trinity, his creation and so on. The following are from my notes of his talk.

The rise of social isolation has many roots issues. Some of these issues are: Poor condition of relationships, two income families, longer commutes and television.

We need a relational paradigm!

In the UK he says, they are worried more about people consuming the right things than doing the right things. People are more worried about relative wealth than total wealth (how wealthy they look, not how wealthy they are).

We need to redefine our goals for relationships. Christianity alone is capable. It's world view is relational through and through. God is relational (1 John-WITH GOD-plurality of relations). God never existed in isolation, you can only understand one member of the triune God in relation to the other two. Relating to others means no isolation. It is through others we become persons. If there is no sharing, there is no reality. All persons have relational needs: To be heard, to be wanted. True person hood is realized when we are others centered. In the Godhead we see perfect giving and receiving. The suffering in the absence of this unity is heard in Jesus' separation from God the Father during the Crucifixion "Why have you forsaken me?".

We find fulfillment in God.

It was "not good for Adam to be alone". But when Adam and Eve fell, dependence gave way to independence. Sin is a failure of relationship: To love God and love others. This is the subject of C S Lewis' The Great Divorce. But, still, one day we will see Him FACE TO FACE.

(me: I heard a pastor say recently, "Sin is what we do when are not fully satisfied in God".)

Christian Ethics: The Practical Application

It is about learning to give and receive.

Isaiah 6:6 God says, "I desire mercy more than sacrifice".

Matthew 23:23 Jesus says, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To do justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Matthew 22:36-40 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

God wants us to cultivate STRONG relationships.

How should we think about relationships? Their are two key aspects: Relational values and relational conditions.

Relational values (are all aspects of love)

Loyalty (mercy, steadfast love) mentioned in the Word 242 times. Loyalty spurs on His relationship with Israel.

Righteousness, which is all about fulfilling demands of relationships with others. A righteous leader will provide justice. Each relationship is unique.

Justice is fixing wrongs.

Faithfulness, which again can be seen in His relationship with Israel.

Truthfulness, in our relationships

Mercy/Compassion: Zechariah speaks of "the tender mercy of our God"

Forgiveness: Jesus said we will be forgive as we forgive others. He used the illustration of the unforgiving servant.

Generosity- He is not just loyal, He is generous. Israel was to be generous as well.

Relational Conditions

Directness: (face to face) leads to greatest outcome a relationship. This is not to be confused with non-verbal email/text messaging, which is task oriented, not relational. How do we deal with interruptions? Jesus, when sought to help Jarius' daughter, dropped everything and went. We undervalue children and others by failing to give our full attention. With out face to face relationships, our success is limited.

Continuity: (Time) With out time, the depth to our relationships is limited. Our method of juggling time and lack of quantity of time with our children is at the expense of our relationship with them.

Multiplexity: The breadth of our knowledge about the other person. AVOID ONE DIMENSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS!

Parroting: Relationships must be two-way. There must be mutual respect. We must listen to the opinion of others before offering our decisions.

Commonality: A shared vision! A mom who took up gold just to be with dad.

Charlotte Mason on relationships

She believed children were born persons. Large classes would underplay relationship.

Learning to Fledge: Masterly Inactivity In the High School Years by: Beth Pinckney

These are my notes from Beth's Masterly Inactivity talk at the 2008 Childlight conference....

What does it mean to fledge? When a baby Carolina Wren leaves the nest but isn't quite ready to leave on their own the parents will stay nearby calling (enticing) them out of the nest.

When the Blue Winged Warbler's babies leave the nest the parents hear their calls and come and care for them in the under brush because they are not yet capable of flying.

Once when a Ruby Throated Hummingbird got it's beak stuck in the trim of Beth's garage, her son gently cupped his hands around it, pulled it free, walked over to the garage doors and opened his hands. The bird sat stunned for a minute and then suddenly flew away.

What is masterly inactivity? It is not: Laissez aller (what's the use?) attitude or indolence. "It is the 'wise passiveness' which 'indicates the power to act, the desire to act, and the insight and self-restraint which forbid action'." (Vol 3, pg.29) It's elements include:

1. Authority: The MASTER in masterly inactivity notes that you are the authority. This authority should be neither harsh not indulgent. We should be "easily entreated in things immaterial but immovable in matters of real importance- these are a fixed principle". We should be willing to admit when we are wrong graciously. God is the backbone of our positition. I should ask myself daily "Who gave me this authority?"

2. Good nature or good humor: A frank, cordial, natural good humor, but not the same as permissive. Take time to consider your answer. Don't be hopeless, "do what ever you want, you're going to do it anyway", instead, "Let me think about it".

3. Self-confidence: Parents should trust themselves. Fussy, commanding, constraining over much muddies the relationship (like over painting in watercolors). My confidence doesn't come from myself, it comes from God's Love. He is my guide, my hope, my only confidence.

Ps 139:1-5
Oh Lord, you have searched me and know me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
and are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue ,
Behold, O Lord, You know it all.
You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid your hand upon me....

4. Confidence in the children: How should I respond when they do wrong? Belittle? Put them "in their place"? I should try to understand them!!!!! Teach them "They can, they ought, they should".

5. Leisure: SLOW DOWN and GET A LIFE! Beth's family has what they call "porch time". They gather regularly on the back porch to chat, do handicrafts, play games...just hang out.

6. Serenity: Get a life! Charlotte Mason said, "Mother's are often too much with their children." Vol. 1) Mother's should have hobbies, have interests! They should also attempt to educate themselves about their children's interests that are outside of their experience.

7. Faith: Let GOD do HIS work. Beth told a beautiful story about one of her children who struggled with a huge change in their lives and how she had explained the decision, but then had to sit back and let God work in her child's life to bring understanding and acceptance. (I was weeping by this point, having gone through something similar with one of mine recently. We did try to explain, but understanding did not come, only anger and arguement. The next step, I realized should have been to trust God to work in the child's life. As it was I fretted for sometime! Once again, as the Lord has tried to tell me time and time again---Phil 4:4-6!!! Give it all to him and he will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus!! Will I ever get it??) She finished by telling how the Lord had used the hardship to draw her child closer to Himself!!

Beth continued into Areas of Application!

1. Play: Even in the high school years we need to encourage lots of play. Family game times and even having families over with younger children are ways we can encourage this.

2. Work: Encourage them in areas of interest to them. I thought of a project mine wanted to do on Composers. (I went straight and bought the book she had asked for ;-)

3. Standing or falling: They must learn to stand or fall by their own efforts. They must learn self-will. (This is a theme of Charlotte Mason's that is screaming loud and clear to me right now!)

4. Friendships: Beth believes they should be allowed to choose their own friends.

5. Money: They should have their own accounts and learn to handle their own money.

6. Opinions: They should be allowed to have their own opinions and we should understand they won't always share ours. We shouldn't force our opinions of other people on them.

In conclusion, Beth asked if we wanted to be a mainspring or a lever in the lives of our children...A mainspring is the coil that winds a watch. When wound, it lets go slowly as it turns. A lever digs up the rock and hurls it in one swift motion.

I want to be a mainspring!!!!!

I told Beth thanks for doing this. It was exactly the balanced, grace filled message I needed right now in my relationship with my older children! God's timing is always perfect.

Childlight Conference- 6:30am bird watch

Just returned home from the Childlight USA conference. Upcoming posts will be my narrations about the conference. Since my brain is REALLY fried, I thought I'd start with the Bird Watch I went on.

We met at 6:30 am at the Bell Tower and were given awesome tips for bird watching. We had a wonderful guide who has been all over the country bird watching for over forty years. She was very sweet and the thrill of her bird watching was contagious!

To start us off on the right foot our guide provided binoculars (she uses 8 x 32s) and taught us how to use them without loosing the bird. First, she says, you find the bird. Then, without taking your eyes off of it, you bring your binoculars up to your eyes. This way, the bird isn't lost in the process of getting the binoculars in place. I was very impressed with how much of a difference this very basic advice made in my bird watching experience.

As we walked along the trail around the beautiful pond and natural areas, she taught us to listen for birds that we heard and mimic the sounds we heard. If we were not able to identify the sound, she would tell us. Some of the birds we heard with in just a few minutes were a cardinal, a mocking bird, a sparrow, a crow, geese (oh course, they were everywhere) and well, I'll remember some more as I go.

She taught us that the first place you look is around the outline of the tree. Of course, if you do not see it there, then to the inside. To tell others where to look, you describe the location of the bird like the hours on a clock. Twelve o'clock of course the top, three o'clock to the right, ect. If it is the interior, you can add to the "location" of the tree how far down or over. This was also very helpful as we spotted birds and shared what we found with each other.

She also taught us that often the smaller birds will come to you is you Pish. Pishing is simply done by sort of blowing out the sound P Sh P Sh P Sh. We were all a bit fascinated with this.

I learned that what we call the "black capped chickadee" around here, is actually a Carolina chickadee....who knew??

Three birds we got to observe where a Kill Deer, a Eastern King bird and a Sparrow. The Sparrow really got us tickled because it says tweet, tweet, tweeeeetttt. And as it says the last and longer tweet it shakes its whole body. I got really tickled that it did it every time (like it just couldn't contain its glee!).

The guides she recommends are the Sibley Guide to Birds (Eastern or Western) and for beginners, Peterson's Guide. I can't wait to take the kids now!!!!!!!!